As exciting as...

In honor of my boredom today... here are some quotes from high school student's papers. I just found them in my desk that I was cleaning out. I was giving my little cube a make over. Anyway here are somethings that make me laugh.

-Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed in a Thigh Master
-His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer with Cling Free.
-He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
-She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
-She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
-Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
-He was as tall as a six-foot, three inch tree.
-The Revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
-The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't
-McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
-From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.
-He hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
-The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
-Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers reached across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.
-The lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
-John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
-He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
-Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
-The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
-The young fighter had a hungry look, kind you get from not eating for a while.
-He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but the real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
-The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
-It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
-He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Well there you have it. They crack me up. I know it's not my own work but you've got to know when something is funny and those are funny. I think I'm going to make this blog my quest for funny. Hmm or maybe not and I'll just use it as a cure for boredom every once in a while.